剑桥雅思范文解析— 语法广度和准确性

日期:2018/06/26
剑桥雅思范文解析— 语法广度和准确性

雅思写作中有一个重要评分标准是语法广度和准确度问题。在写句子时,不少同学下意识地就写简单句,有一些意识的会使用It 引导的形式主语从句,如果基础再好一点,这些同学会写几个限制性或非限制性定语从句。想在语法广度上提分的同学会有犯难——为什么我写来写去就是这么几个句子?分词状语、后置定语、名词性从句、表语从句、状语从句不能灵活穿插使用,就是语法广度不能提升的重要原因。麦考瑞雅思焦老师今天给大家带来的范例分析是剑桥雅思5 TEST 2中的考官范文,这篇文章的最大亮点就是语法广度和准确性非常优秀。特别值得雅思考生的借鉴。

雅思作文gap year

剑 5 Test 2 ;Gap Year

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.在一些国家年轻人被鼓励在完成高中学习和开始大学学习之间工作或者旅行一年。讨论年轻人决定这样做的优点和缺点。

This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer.

第一段:It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from ;studying after graduating from high school(it 引导的形式主语从句). The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident ;among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent ;(副词的使用)for a period of time.

第二段:The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition ;that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge ;and experience of the world. ;By contrast(介词短语), ;those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better ;personal resources ;to draw on. They tend to ;be more independent, which is a very important factor in ;academic study and research(非限定性定语从句), as well as(连词) ;giving(分词作状语) ;them an advantage in terms of coping with ;the challenges of student life. ;

第三段:However(副词), there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up ;never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. ;They may think different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today, when(when引导的非限定性定语从句) ;academic qualifications ;are essential ;for getting a reasonable career. ;

最后一段:My view is that (表语从句)young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for ;them to get a clear perspective of ;what(what 引导的名词性从句) ;they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective ;are usually the most ;effective and motivated ;ones and(并列句) ;taking a year off ;(动名词短语做主语) ;may be the best way to gain this. ;

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Analysis

本文话题:空档年

A.表层分析:

1.贴近话题以及亮点词汇: economically independent, general knowledge, experience of the world, view of life, personal resources, academic study, readapt, academic qualifications, horizons, perspective, effective and motivated,

2.固定搭配:见原文加粗内容

3.语法广度:(每种一个示例,其它见原文粗体标注) 在七八种以上,准确性优秀。

It做形式主语的主语从句:It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school.

表语从句:My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons.

非限定性定语从句:They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, …

现在分词作状语:as well as(连词) ;giving ;them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

what 引导的名词性从句: That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what ;they are hoping to do with their lives and why.

动名词短语做主语:Students with such a perspective ;are usually the most ;effective and motivated ;ones and(并列句) ;taking a year off ; ;may be the best way to gain this. ;(并列句)

B.中层评析:(观点和逻辑展现)

1)观点: ;暂停一短时间学业的优点大于缺点

2)结构:

Introduction:对背景信息进行详细陈述(“空档年gap year”的现象)

Body 1:举例论证——该趋势的优势。

Body 2:举例+让步转折论证——该趋势有一定危险性,但是这些缺点发生概率很小。

Conclusion: 总结自己的观点——优点大于缺点

C.整体分析:

TR:结构清晰,举例说服力强,论证逻辑合理。

LR: ;用词准确,贴近话题。

CC: ;连贯性强,结尾清晰点明立场。

GRA: ;语法广度和准确性优秀,非限定性定语从句多样(when, which引导),总体语法亮点在七八种。

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